Cheers!

(Don’t open it now – there’s a cop behind you)

Election day in Brazil tomorrow, so – apart from watching a largely marginalised, uneducated public trying to agree on some spurious criteria to latch onto to help them decide which lunatic will take over the asylum – we will all be enthusiastically applying the “Lei Seca” (literally “Dry Law”) from 10:00 o’clock tonight.

As you might imagine, this law prohibits the sale or consumption of alcohol on election day, thus supposedly guaranteeing a nice quiet public. I can see the conversations now:

Wife to husband: Put that bottle of beer back in the fridge right now. You might get unruly.
Husband: Aye. Right enough, love. Pass me some milk then, would you? Hot work over that barbecue.

Drug user: got any meths, man?
Drug pusher1: sorry mate, no alcohol today.
Drug user: Oh. Okay. Any opiates, at all, then…?
Drug pusher1 (calling across the street): I say George, are we okay to supply opiates?
Drug pusher2: Reckon so, Charles.
Drug pusher1: Jolly good. Here you go, mate.

Anarchist1: Well everyone, are we ready to go? Take over the planet an’ that?
Anarchist mass (all together): Best leave it ‘til Monday!
Anacharist1: Huh?
Anarchist mass: No beer today!
Anarchist1: Ah. Okay then. Well, um, I’m off to watch the telly then. Anyone for a glass of juice?

Bride: Put that bottle of champagne away!

Bar owner at 21:59: Well, that’s that then – kick them out and close up. The family had enough to eat last week anyway.

We are told the Police will be running around rigorously enforcing this law. “Okay lads – I want you to get out there and really punish the normally law-abiding bar, supermarket and corner shop owners.” That’ll teach ‘em, eh? Eh?” And when you come off duty we’ll all get together around a nice bottle of sparkling mineral water.” We must assume that with this highly effective stranglehold on their supplies of alcohol, all the anarchists, criminals, drug dealers etc will behave themselves while the Police are otherwise occupied.

I wonder if there is any correlation between 3rd world countries and the unquestioning enforcement of ludicrous laws.

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One Response to Cheers!

  1. Kirstie says:

    Hilarious!

    Like

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